Some good news at last!
Most of the day spent back at Kings College Hospital for an X-ray and consultant appointment. The doctor tells me the X-rays look good, nothing to hold me back, they expect me to be off the crutches in six weeks. I tell him the leg and hip doesn’t feel nearly ready but he assures me it’s normal to feel that way.
I’ve spent the last eight weeks learning to walk on one leg and now I’m expected to start using two, what’s that all about?
Some serious habits need to be broken. A crisis such as this triggers a mental reaction, usually fight or flight. I’m good in a crisis it’s normality I have difficulty with. In a crisis, you are forced to focus on the here and now, concentrate only on the immediate task in hand with little thought to the bigger picture, whatever that may be. Over-reacting is a given, the danger appears to be everywhere. Nothing can be taken for granted or at face value. Motives must be challenged to ensure they are compatible with your survival imperative. There’s a need to be totally selfish, everything has to be about you and your wellbeing and nothing can be allowed to get in the way of that.
Taking these behaviours back into what’s loosely called normal life can be problematic. Then again, maybe that’s what I’ve been doing wrong.
Two months of damage limitation just looking after the injuries, slowly turning into being able to be pro-active and do something to improve the situation.
So now I have two legs I can use. So many people just walk around the place on two legs without giving it a second thought. Never realising two legs are so much greater than the sum of their parts.
One leg works, the other one doesn’t, so we enter exercise territory, what a relief. Somewhere recognisable, somewhere understandable, somewhere I can begin to have some control over my own life again. If all I have to do is follow the exercise routines to be able to walk again, then I have my light at the end of the tunnel. I have hope. Such a precious commodity.
To be continued...
These are the dog days of recovery, the slog when nothing seems to change, no light at the end of the tunnel. Can only hope what I do now will stand me in good stead sometime in the summer. Heading for the first outpatient appointment with the surgical team to review the scans and X-rays and find out if I will walk again.